Trauma-Informed Spiritual Direction: Creating Safe Spaces

I was in my 20’s when I went through my dark night of the soul. The once strong, tightly wound pieces of my belief system slowly started to unravel. At the time I was also burned out and exhausted. And the one part of my life that was always my constant, my faith, didn’t make sense anymore. I had never felt so alone.

If you told me then, “Don’t worry, in the future you’ll be glad you experienced this.” I would have given you the finger with some colorful language and walked away. But I am grateful for that time. I learned to overcome toxic beliefs, healed from harm, reconnected with myself, and learned to follow wisdom.

This time allowed me to burn things down, keep what still made sense, and figure out what I was really about. My roots grew deeper.

That season makes me think about the stage in a butterfly’s transformation when it turns from a caterpillar to a butterfly. When it’s in the midst of the transformation, it turns to goo, it liquifies. It has to lose its shape first to become what it’s meant to be. There was a purpose in my goo phase.

It was during this time that I found spiritual direction. I felt isolated and had no idea who to talk to about my changing beliefs and this unraveling. I heard someone mention spiritual direction once, and I figured I felt lost…so maybe some direction would help.

I found my way to Kasey Hitt, and I had finally found a safe place to land. I didn’t feel so alone anymore. When Kasey asked what brought me to spiritual direction, I said something like, I’m lost and I’m not even sure I believe in God anymore. It was the first time I said it out loud. She didn’t act shocked, or judgmental, or dismayed but met me with kindness, compassion, and curiosity.

After feeling so alone and isolated in my unraveling, it’s like she sat down with me in the dark and let some light in. And made me realize I didn’t have to be so afraid of the dark! I felt like maybe I was going to be okay after that first session.

After a few years of spiritual direction, I realized this was something I wanted to do. I wanted to companion people as they asked life’s questions, reminding them they’re not alone, and we can look for where the light shines together. Or just sit in the dark together. When they were feeling like goo, I could sit with them with kindness, compassion, and a listening ear.

When The Wisdom Tree Collective began, I think I was one of the first applicants! The spiritual direction program was a gift to me. For the final part of the Wisdom Tree program, we had to do a project. I decided to do a workshop on trauma-informed spiritual direction. As Spiritual Directors we have an opportunity to create healing spaces where people feel seen and safe. Being trauma informed helps us be intentional with those spaces and to build in protective factors, so we aren’t causing more harm to our directees. Since my final project, I’ve had the chance to share with different sectors about trauma-informed practices and why it’s important, but among spiritual directors is where I feel most at home.

If you would like to learn more about trauma-informed spiritual direction, I would love to have you join our workshop March 20. Sign up here. Hope to see you there!

~Abby Buter Oakhart, WTC Alumna & Board Member